7/7/25: You Can’t Want It More Than They Do: Real Talk About Leading in Direct Sales

Let’s get real—one of the biggest energy drains in direct sales is leading a team that doesn’t want to work. I lived it. I felt it. And eventually, I got really honest about it.  I knew more teammates meant more books in the hands of kids; but it was a struggle to put myself in a mindset to recruit.

It was fine when someone joined the team and made it very clear they just wanted the discount and nothing more.  It was the times when you poured into people because they did or said something that made you believe they wanted more than a kit and a credit.   

Industry wide, a lot of leaders in direct selling will share similar frustrations.  In conversations, I hear the questions about how to lead – “nobody is working”, “nobody is joining”, and “how do you motivate” are common questions…and it seems there isn’t a great answer. 

But here is the answer I share – you cannot want more for people than they want for themselves. 

If you have a new team member, you can usually figure out quickly what they want from the business; and I mean what they really want, not what you hope they want.  If the responses are slow, they are resistant to action, they drag their feet, or make excuses, they are not your brand-new shiny star ⭐️…at least not yet. 

There is nothing saying they can’t be a top-notch recruit down the road, but if any of this 👆🏻 sounds like your recruit – it’s time to move on!  The worst thing you can do is hound them, hope for them, and plan the success of your business around them, because if this is what happens, you officially want it more than they do, and THAT WON’T WORK! 

When I found these people, I would check in from time to time, usually around special offers from the companies, but mostly I just loved and released.  If they came to me, I would put the work in, but beyond a casual check in from time to time, I did not pour much into them.  I just knew I needed to keep building my team.  If you are a person who feels a strong emotional attachment to people or your heart drives your business, this approach likely will be tough, but in the long run, it will be better for your business. 

Things like the stigma around MLM’s, growth in affiliate marketing, and impending death of parties on social media will make recruiting more difficult.  If you are committed to growing your team, here are a few suggestions:

1. Speak openly and honestly about your company.  Nothing screams sketch like when you won’t tell people what your company or product is.
2. Be willing to meet people where they are at.  TRUTH BOMB 💣 people are not going to come to you in Facebook parties like they did in 2020/2021.  You may need to try new platforms or increase in person events.
3. Don’t “hunt” for new team members.  Find new team members organically while working your business with a servant heart.
4. Do NOT overpromise and under deliver.  A good way to scare the good ones off is to make promises, yours or the companies, that you can’t keep. 

At the end of the day, your energy is a limited resource. Don’t spend it dragging people who aren’t ready to run. Keep showing up, keep serving, and keep building—and the right people will follow your lead.

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