4/14/25: The Truth About Boundaries and Why You Need Them

Here’s the hardest part about setting boundaries, especially if you are new to it – there are people who will make you feel guilty for saying “no”.  People will put pressure on you to say “yes” when their ask isn’t a priority, or you do not have the capacity to add more to your plate.  These are the people you need to work especially hard to keep the filters working. 

Let’s talk about what a lack of boundaries can do to your emotional and physical well-being.  Trying to keep everyone happy is mentally exhausting. You’ll constantly worry about disappointing people, and that stress doesn’t just stay in your head—it wears down your body, too. Chronic stress wrecks your rest and drains your energy, especially when you’re doing things you never wanted to say ‘yes’ to in the first place. 

I am a big believer in self-care being a recharging station.  When you are constantly taking care of the needs and wants of others and ignoring your own, your battery is going to drain.  Low or no boundaries will cause you to make yourself your last priority, I can almost guarantee that.  When we are not caring for ourselves, we are not our best version for the people and things we want to say “yes” to. 

So, you might be reading this and thinking “okay, I need to set boundaries in my personal life, but what does this have to do with my business?”  Well, let me tell you what is up.  What I have observed is if you have poor personal boundaries, you will likely have poor business boundaries.  The most common place I see this is in relationships.  We want to be friendly and friends with employees and coworkers but then the lines between work and life get cloudy.  Suddenly you must decide if you need to draw a line at work or just let it slide because they are your friend, but then when you draw the line you are eaten up by the guilt of hurting your friends’ feelings.  Another example of not setting boundaries comes to mind.  I have this amazing friend who owns her own business, has a heart of gold.  When she went off on her own, she planned to have one day a week off to do personal appointments and just enjoy time, but suddenly, her clients want appointments and people are asking favors and she gives up her day off.  Now people see that she’ll do it and they keep asking.  And just like that, her day off, her self-care day, isn’t hers.  It is possible to build or grow and business or brand and not bend or break your boundaries.

Just as an extra note, if you have trouble with boundaries, you will say “yes” to things in your professional business that you don’t feel called to do.  That will take away from the family that you so desperately want to be present for.   Every time you say “yes” to something in your business, you are saying “no” to something.  My boundaries used to be terrible!  I remember working diligently on a big work project, from home, at night, on the day my family was decorating for Christmas.  I just watched them decorate because I let an employer take advantage of my poor boundaries and I compromised time with what mattered.  If people see you lower your boundaries once or twice, they know you will keep doing it, and whether it is malicious or not, they will keep asking.

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you rude, selfish, or ungrateful.  It makes you clear. It makes you healthy. It makes you effective.  Boundaries are not walls.  They are filters that protect your time, energy, and priorities.